Big tiles aren't always fun...

When last we left our hero, Ditra had been laid and we were ready for tiling. So all we've got to do is throw some tile down right? Wrong. Well, right if you want your floor to look like Helen Keller helped you lay it, wrong if you want people to actually like it. Now don't go getting all huffy about the Helen Keller reference. Yes, her story is amazing and courageous, but really, would you pay her to lay tile for you? I don't think so. Maybe I'd let her grout but even then you're taking your chances.

To begin, you need to figure out what kind of pattern you're laying - square, brick (staggered) or diagonal. Because I'm using 12"x24" tiles (more on those pros and cons later) I went with a brick pattern. I've got the pattern, now I need to work on the layout. Normally you'd find the center of the long side of the room and snap a chalk line then do the same on the short side of the room to get the center. If there's a doorway, you'd also get a centerline from that and then figure out how to lay the tiles so you don't end up with any terrible (thin) cuts of tiles at the ends (as best as possible). It was pretty much the same for me, except I had to deal with the lovely bow-front of my bathtub. I didn't want little pieces to cut curves into, so I decided that I'd use the tub as my starting point. Here you can see the initial layout:

Note the chalk line on the right of the tiles (remember folks, you can enlarge these pictures). My first line was the center of the door and the tiles are currently covering it. The visible line is the one I used to set everything from. It basically let me use a full width tile for the starting point of the tub cuts. BTW, DIY tip - use hair spray on your chalk lines to get them from disappearing. It really does work. And measure about 80 times to get the line right - you don't want to finish your tiling and wonder why everything is veering to one side. Not good. Even Helen knows that. She can't really tell if it's happened and has no idea how to fix it, but she's starting to win me over with the grout thing.

In this picture I've started laying out part of a second row of tile to get the brick pattern right. I want the grout lines of one row to hit the exact center of the tiles in the next row. I also want the first row of tile to be as close to a full tile as possible taking into account the width of the threshold that will later be put in the doorway (they will be full 5" threshold to match the rest in the house):

It took a lot of trial and error to get it just right and get the measurements to the partial tiles that will be at the end of the run. One length for rows that start with a full tile, another for those that start with half tiles. Lots of fun. No swearing at all. Nope.

After a couple hours of measuring, checking and testing I was ready to go. I had the sense to cut the curved pieces first rather than cut as I needed because it takes a while to cut a nice smooth curve in a 24" tile. I used a cheap tile saw to do the work and it did the job admirably although I will happily smash it to little pieces when I'm all done. You see it's one of those  bench top models with the blade coming up through the top like a table saw, rather than from above like a chop saw. There is a reason why they cheap tile saws are built that way - they spray a ridiculous amount of water back at you. Oh sure there's a guard to use, but you can't see anything when it's down. I felt like I was in Das Boot at some points. Anyway, it did work as you can see from this dry fit (note the ever important cardboard template sitting on the tub used to cut the Ditra to shape and the tile):

And yes, the closet really is a horrible colour - but it's not staying. I've got some shelves and an access panel to put in so the closet will get finished after the main work. And it was pointed out to me that I should have probably put my door trim in after the tile, but the simple matter of fact was that it was originally done this way and I just did it the same way. Once it's grouted and the trim is in, it won't show. After much fun and no swearing (really, you don't believe me?) the tile was down and then the following day grouted. I decided in the end not to use Helen's services, not because of any prejudice or her inability to return my phone calls or text messages because she's been dead for quite some time now and her whole participation in this event is clearly a complete and utter delusion on my part brought on my the stress of this never ending reno. Sorry, I digress, the grout:

You will notice in the last picture that I even managed to cut out the opening for the main drain pipe. That was actually easier than I thought. I measured it's location on the tile, made a square, then an octagon, and finally cut it all out with a diamond blade on my angle grinder. It was actually ridiculously easy. Just like laying the tile. Honest. There were no issues at all. Well not really. I mean not anything major. Nothing that would make me swear. Okay, fine. If the paint were on the walls at this point it would have peeled off while I was laying tile.

See, there's the issue. I like the 12"x24" tiles and I don't regret using them and they certainly cover a lot of floor as you lay them. But they have a certain "cost" associated with them. They can be a bitch to level. At two feet long, when you press one end down to get it level with the other tile (when the edges of tiles aren't even it's called lippage and best case it's ugly, worst case you stub your toe or trip) the other end pops up something fierce. To help get it right you need lots of mortar. That was another issue actually. Big tiles require more mortar than you'd think. Firstly, they need a bigger trowel size. I had to use 1/2" x 1/2" notched trowel AND I needed to back butter the tiles too (a slathering of mortar on the back of the tile to make sure there is good adhesion and support). Think about it, in the same way it's easier to snap a long piece of wood versus a short one, it's a lot easier to break big tiles than small ones. Don't have them fully supported with mortar and look out. I burned through 2 1/2 bags of mortar for that little floor.

All that aside, it looks good and it's let me move on to the next phase of this never ending story - painting. And that will be in my next post...which since I already have most of the painting done and pictures taken, might actually get done in a reasonable amount of time...maybe...

Ditra - not something you order off the Indian menu...

I'm ready for Ditra. This is a big deal. It means I'm about to tile the floor. This of course begs the question, what is Ditra. Well it's orange. Really orange. Not enough detail? Fine then. Ditra is from my friends at Schluter who also brought us that old time hit Kerdi (the other orange stuff I used when tiling the shower). Where Kerdi is basically like a fabric used for water-proofing vertical surfaces, Ditra is an uncoupling membrane for floor tiles. The back of the Ditra is a felt fabric that sticks to the mortar bonding it to the floor. The top of the Ditra is covered in square depressions that once filled with mortar form a mechanical bond to hold the tile in place. Now here's the neat part - if the floor moves for any reason, the Ditra absorbs the movement. That means that the tile and grout won't crack and since I'm using 12x24 inch tiles that's a big deal to me. First step is to lay out the Ditra and cut the sheets to shape for a dryfit:

When it came to the tub I had the sense to make a cardboard template of the curve of the tub before I installed it. This made making the curve quite easy and will be used again to help with the cutting of the tiles that will also need to match the tub curve.

With the Ditra cut to shape, it's time to stick it down. Ditra is adhered to the floor using a modified (latex added) thinset and an unmodified (no latex) thinset between the Ditra and the tile (don't mix those up - you'll have drying issues). I've marked on the floor where the first sheet of Ditra ends, so after mixing my mortar I spread some out on the floor and use a 1/4 x 1/4 inch notched trowel (Schluter recommends a 1/4 x 3/16 "V" notched trowel but they are basically only made my Schulter, so the norm is to use a 1/4 x 1/4):

Notice that I only but it down over half the floor. That's because you don't want to wrestle with mortar under the full sheet. BTW, aren't the patterns pretty:

So what you do is roll up your Ditra, lay it over the section you have the mortar under, use a grout float to smooth it out and ensure good bonding, then roll the other end of the Ditra up and apply mortar to then section:

Then rinse and repeat for the other sheets. The advantage of the Ditra is that because it's on a horizontal surface, you can start tiling right away without having to wait for the mortar to dry (as you do with the Kerdi which is on a vertical surface so that makes sense). However, by the time I got all the Ditra down it was getting late and I didn't want to spend all night tiling, particularly when I have to make what I suspect will be some pretty gnarly curved cuts. So the layout and tile starts tomorrow...

Squeaky squashes a squeak...nothing like Horton Hears a Who...

Well I've emerged from my white, dusty hell and I cannot find the words to express my happiness. As you can see here, the drywall is done:

Here are my top 5 lessons learned when it comes to mudding drywall:

1. Hire someone. Seriously. Of all the things I've done on this reno, this is the only one where I would pay to have someone else do this. It's just so dusty and sweaty and if you get a pro they will have it done in 1/3 the time and 1/3 the mess.

2. Less is more - and then less again. The more you put on, the more you have to take off. That sounds simple but doing it in practice is not so simple. Still, if you're doing your own mudding, try to remember it.

3. Hire someone. Have you not seen on all the Holmes and DIY Disaster shows where the hosts leave the mudding to pros or the homeowner? There's a reason for that. The hosts know better and want nothing to do with it.

4. Buy a vacuum attachment for sanding. You can get these most places and basically your sanding block (the pro kind that uses sheets of wire mesh) hooks into a Shop-Vac. Really cuts down on the dust (it's insidious) and helps with the breathing.

5. Hire someone. I shouldn't need to explain this anymore.

With the walls done, I looked to the floor. I had two issues to deal with - a squeak and a dip. The floor had a wicked squeak and now was the time to fix it. Basically impossible to fix once the tile is down. Also, there was a dip on one side of the room where the floor went down about 1/8 of an inch. This could be solved with some self-leveling compound or a scratch coat of mortar, either way I was going to deal with the squeak first.

The first thing to do was find the joists beneath the floor because you won't get much satisfaction from screwing straight through the floor and not actually getting the joist. I measured off the wall, used a stud sensor and figured out where a joist should be. I then put a 2 1/2 inch flooring screw in and went downstairs to check my accuracy. If my goal was to put the screw exactly between two joists, I would have won first prize. As it was, that was not what I was going for and so did not make the podium. On the plus side, I could now measure the distance from the screw to the joists, go back upstairs and layout for where the joists really were.

Knowing that I was actually hitting the mark now, I drove in about 20 - 30 screws and lo and behold the squeaks were gone. And there was a bonus too; the floor was now level. Looks like the floor bowed up in the middle over time which caused both the squeaks and the floor to drop off on one side. Once I screwed the floor tight to the joists, the floor leveled out. So, no need for self leveling compound and one little victory for Team Squeaky.

With the floor squeak free and level, I had to patch a few depressions that resulted from my wonderful experience with glue remover many posts ago. A little Planipatch (a patching compound) mixed fairly dry, spread with a tongue depressor and leveled with a 5 inch trowel and the damage was patched:

So now that the floor is all ready, it's time to move on to Ditra - the orangest orange you have ever seen and tomorrow's entry...

Dante was wrong...there are 10 circles of hell...he missed drywalling...

Seriously, I'm not sure what sin you have to commit to get to the tenth ring of hell, but I can tell you that once there your eternal damnation will be in the form of applying infinite coats of drywall mud and then an equal number of times will you be condemned to sand it. And like Sisyphus pushing that boulder, everytime you think you're done you'll notice a ridge, or a dip,a ripple, or something else that makes you put another coat of mud on knowing that the next day you'll be entering a fresh, white, powdery hell of your own making.

Let me describe my recent world. You balance on a step ladder, in a small room with 4 light bulbs, the door shut and no other ventilation. You stare at hard, drywall compound on the wall and wonder how you managed to cock it up that badly. It looked okay last night. Then you start sanding. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Time has no meaning. It's like a training session with Mr. Miyagi gone horribly wrong. Ralph Macchio isn't there, so at least that's something I suppose. Soon your shoulders start to hurt like you've been throwing baseballs all day long. The air is thick with a fine, white dust. To protect your lungs you're wearing a mask but it doesn't let enough air in so you constantly feel like you're going to suffocate. Work too hard and your heart races, crying out for more air. I felt like Homer Simpson trying to do...well...to do anything really. But the best part, the best, is the sweat mixing with the powder on your skin and hair. There is nothing like getting little drywall compound balls hardening in the corner of your eyes. Second to that is sporting the new fashion look - plaster of Paris hair. Even with a bandanna on, it still gets in. And my beard? Oh you don't want to know what that does. It's like the hair is wet and frozen, except it's hot and sticky.

So this has been my world for the last while. And you wonder why I haven't written? BUT it's getting better. Just a final coat and a light sanding (please let it be a light sanding) and I'm ready for paint. There are more things beyond that, but I don't have the heart to plan that far ahead, not while I've got my while hell waiting for me...

PS - if you think this is laid on thick, imagine the pain of my parents when I was a teenager :)

Not dead...

The rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated. That's not to say it hasn't felt like I'm dying. No I've been in the process of mudding the drywall and I took a few days off from the bathroom for the first time in 3 weeks. That being said, I'm back at it now and hoping to have some significant updates soon. Here is the battle plan:

A couple more nights of mudding, then a light sand.
Prime the whole room.
Get the ceiling and walls painted.
Lay the Ditra on the floor.
Cut and lay the tile.
Grout the tile.

I'm hoping to have all that done by the end of the coming weekend. Truth of the matter is being back to work really cuts down the time I have in the evenings to get things done so it's slow going. However, I do have a functioning shower now so I've come to discover that the greatest indicator of being human is the ability to have a shower. Stay tuned, there is more to come...

Progress!!

Well it's not a long post tonight, but it is a significant one. I've got the shower tiled and grouted!! Yay!! Tomorrow I caulk, and add some more trim and then once everything has dried fully I get to take a shower. It will be sad to give up the rag and stick that has kept me company so long now, but I think it's a necessary step to move on.

Here's a quick shot of the shower, I've used 13"x13" tiles with a glass penny round tile as an accent. When I say "I" I mean that "I" put then up, and the Task Mistress picked them out in her great co-ordinating wisdom (can you tell it was suggested that I make an edit?). Lighting is crappy; it looks even better in the flesh. Also walls are still wet where I've been wiping off the grout haze:

I have to say I'm pretty happy thus far. When the trim is on, the caulking is done and the hardware and shower curtain are in I might actually smile. But only for a minute.

Calm before the storm?

Today has been a productive day (indicating that tomorrow all hell will break loose). I got the first coat of tape and mud on the walls (seams, corners and screw holes). For the DIYers, I used a self-adhesive fiber tape for all the seams, and a paper tape for all the corners. For mud I've been using Durabond 90 hot mud which is meant for repairs so it hardens to a rock-like consistency that can't really be sanded. It's called a hot mud because it comes as a powder and you mix it yourself. Unlike pre-mixed mud which dries via evaporation, hot mud dries via a chemical reaction. It will dry and harden in 90 minutes regardless of anything else. You just can't stop it. Why use that? Two reasons: First, because it's so hard, it really aids in preventing cracks. Second, mould don't like it. In fact, mould won't grow on it so big plus there. And with drying times of just a few hours it means you can get a couple coats on in a day. The rest of the mudding will also be a hot mud - Sheetrock 90 - but it's meant to be sanded so I can get a nice flair. Final coat will be a pre-mixed ultra smooth top coat.

With the taping done and the mudding started I decided to tackle the Kerdi membrane in the shower alcove. If you're not familiar with it Kerdi is that orange stuff you see all being using on the shower walls in all those DIY shows. It's a waterproof membrane that adheres via unmodified thinset to the backer boards. Like drywall, you tape the seams (using thinset instead of mud) and and once you're done  you've got a waterproof membrane to attach your tiles to.

And that is the next phase - tiling. Gosh, I really can't wait so see if I can't screw up take on the challenge of tiling a shower. Yeah, this should be fun...

Drywall is the Xanax of renovations...

Well after many delays which I won't bore you with...wait..who am I kidding. If I had to suffer, so do you:

Delay #1 - Pipes that I couldn't leave alone.

In the process of doing the reno I encountered two supply lines that looked like they could go any day. Sea foam green is not the colour you want copper pipes to be.

So completely outside of my reno plans I had to replace them. Then there were the other two pipes which I screwed may have affected as well. Are any of you old enough to remember camping as a kid in a canvas tent? You know the ones where if it was raining and you dared to defy the commandment of your father and touch the canvas you created your own little interior waterfall? Weren't those fun? Well if you're stupid curious enough to rub the lightly corroded sections of a copper pipe to see how bad it is you do the exact same thing. So I promptly created two pipes with pinhole leaks. Yay me. These also had to be replaced.

Delay #2 - Lazy morons

My bathroom has a linen closet with a 30" bi-fold door which I was replacing (frame and all). When I tore the trim and frame off I discovered a truly neat fact - the framing was done by lazy morons. They framed for a 34" door, decided that was too big, stuck in a 30" door and made the 4" inches up with 2" of shims on either side of the frame. I'm serious. There was like a whole cedar tree of shims in there. I would have taken a picture but I was afraid that some rubber boot wearing, tree hugging, Duckworth Lunch eating granola would hold me responsible for deforestation. And if you get the Duckworth Lunch eating reference you are both cool and a little old and obviously local. Needless to say I wasn't using a cedar tree to fix the issue. No I'd do something incredibly daring and novel - I'd stick a freakin' 2x4 in there and shim it like a normal person. But oh no, that would be too simple. Turns out that every 2x4 in the bathroom is not the standard nominal 3 1/2" but actually 3 3/8". I don't even know how that could happen. What it did mean was that I am very lucky to have a large cabinet saw and a big workshop to rip the studs down. Having put another stud in the opening I both fixed the issue and saved a whole cedar tree. However the only shims I could get were the really long ones so after I trimmed them I probably killed two cedar trees. Whoops.

Delay #3 - The other taps broke

Yup. I go to brush my teeth and find that there's no pressure coming out of the taps in the ensuite bathroom. There is however lots of water running over my toes. Indoor sprinklers are not on my list of new features I wanted to add. I checked twice. Not only that but the cheap screw-type shutoff valves didn't work either so I had to shut the water to the house off instead. As an important side note allow be to impart you with this little tidbit... $5 shutoffs from Canadian Tire are shit less than the best.  They will leak, they will fail. They use a screw with a rubber gasket to make a seal and the screw is plastic. The combination almost certainly guarantees failure if you have to turn it off and on more than once in your lifetime. Get a ball-type shutoff valve with a lever not a screw (Dahl is a great brand). They seal well, and pretty much don't wear out.  But I digress, back to the story at hand. The failure of the taps and shut-offs meant that instead of working on the bathroom I was renovating I had to disconnect the ensuite taps, pull the sink, replace the taps, get new connections and shut-offs, put the whole thing back together and only then could I get back to the main bathroom. Except now that I'm back in the office I pretty much chewed up my whole night on the ensuite and have no time for the reno.

So, with the delays over I started drywalling the bathroom. The ceiling was already done so it wasn't too bad doing the walls except for one which had 5 cutouts for a receptacle, light and plumbing. That was a little more tricky. I had originally planned on putting a strip of Aqua Tough drywall  (a sheet rock product rated for use in wet areas) on either side of the bathtub alcove (as if there is going to be any water build up that's where it will be from splashes in the tub or not having the shower curtain pulled all the way) and then cement board for the actual alcove itself. I even put one piece of cement board up. One was enough.

Cement board is totally waterproof and mould cannot grow on it. Aqua Tough is highly water and mould resistant, but not waterproof and not mould proof. So why use Aqua Tough instead of cement board? Because cement board is a real pain to work with. It's cement. It's not just a catching marketing name. Even 3x5 sheets are very heavy, you need carbide tools to score or cut it. And if you have to drill openings the dust is insane. And if you need to trim a sheet down a little, well, good luck with that. Aqua Tough is a gypsum based product, but there is no paper membrane (the paper is what mould loves to eat) and it's rated for contact in wet areas specifically showers. Since I'm going to put Kerdi waterproof membrane over the backerboards anyway, I don't see any issues from using Aqua Tough and it's just so much easier to work with than cement board. That being said, if anyone wants to buy some cement board at a good price it's ridiculously easy to work with and extremely light. The cement name is just for marketing, really it's made from fluffy stuff from NASA. Honest.

So here I am with all the drywall and Aqua Tough on the walls and the doors framed out and the bathroom is starting to look like a room again not a full-on demolition site.

Standing there in that moment I took my metaphorical Xanax and felt calmer knowing that it was starting to come together. Then I got a splinter in my foot from the plywood floor and called myself an idiot for walking in there in my bare feet anyway.

Next step, adventures in mudding and taping sheetrock. Thrilling stuff I know. Will I mix it to the right consistency? Will it set up in the bucket before I get a chance to put it all on the walls? These and other thrilling questions will be answered in my next post. Same Bat channel, not exactly sure what Bat time...

No I was wrong - that light IS a train...

Well I've been so focused on getting the tub in and shower ready that I've made a rather significant oversight. When the slowdowns started, the plan became get the shower done and then work on the rest. It made logical sense, but not linear sense. Here's why...

Before I put the Kerdi membrane over the cement board in the shower (yes I know, overkill) I have to have the ceiling taped and mudded. How else will I close the seam between the ceiling drywall and the cement board? BUT that also means I need to have the rest of the drywall up to join the vertical seams as well. You can't do that once the Kerdi is up never mind the tile. So now I have to finish the drywall first.

That means that I have to re-plumb the lines for the toilet and vanity soon that I planned because the drywall will cover it all so the changes have to happen now.

And I've also got new door boxes for the main and closet doors that have to go in. Before the drywall actually so the drywall can lay over the frame.

So what that means, is instead of getting ready to tile, I actually have to finish the plumbing on the toilet and vanity, install two doors, drywall the whole room, tape and mud,  and at least prime the ceiling BEFORE I can go back to prepping for tiling the shower.

I wonder if I impale myself on a level will the insurance pay off....

Light at the end of the tunnel! And I don't think it's a train...

Well there is finally some progress worth talking about. The tub went in yesterday and today I'll hook up the drains and give a water test. Naturally, it wasn't as easy as just dropping in a tub. The tub is an acrylic soaker tub which basically means it's a thin acrylic shell sprayed with fiberglass and a sheet of chipboard added to strengthen it. The downside is that if you don't support the bottom of the tub properly it will creak like mad and possibly get hairline cracks over the years.

The gap on my tub was 4 1/2" at one end to 3 1/2" at the other. This means that while the top of the tub is level, the bottom is angled for good drainage. The best way to support the tub is with a bed or mortar (Quikrete Masonry Mortar S type was what I used) but I didn't want to put down enough mortar to fill that kind of gap. It would be 150+ pounds and combine that with personal weight plus water and you get a lot of weight. Luckily my tub is pretty much directly over a support wall with 1 1/2" subfloor so I'm not too worried. Still I figured that making a platform to take some of the height would be better. So here is my mortar bed support Mk. II (yes there was a Mk. I - we won't talk about that):

Note that I've matched the 3 degree slant of the tub to the support. I've also added 3 key strips to help lock the mortar in place. Now there is the possibility that this tub may come out at some point (long after I'm dead 'cause I ain't doing this again anytime soon) so it wouldn't be good to have the mortar stick to anything. We just want it to provide support. So, the bottom of the subfloor get some 6 mil poly laid over it (the Tuck tape was to make sure it didn't catch on the tub when moving it in and cause the poly to roll up):

The base is screwed to the floor so that it neither goes anywhere, but it can be removed if required. To keep the mortar from sticking to the tub, more poly is applied there:

You can also see the insulation that I've added to help keep the water hot. A full strip on the front and a partial on the side. No room for insulation on the back. I'm using Roxul stone fiber insulation because it's water proof and being actually made from volcanic stone, it will not harbour mould:

Then I mixed up some mortar (anyone who thought I didn't need one of  these you were wrong. Na-na-na-boo-boo!) to a fairly thick consistency and made an angled mound on the support:

With that done I raised the tub up, slid it in on an angle and placed it down. Then I squished it around (the tub that is) and stood in in just to let it sink in. Some say that you should fill the tub with water so that the mortgar hardens as if someone were in there, but I've done some checking and I don't think that's the best way to go. Think about it, you add a couple of hundred pounds of weight and let it set. Then you take the weight off. What if the tub rises back up a bit? You've got a ton of mortar and you still have a squeak. The support is there, but I bet it'll be noisy. Since I confirmed it was level in both planes (which it was) and then doubled checked the drainage slope in the bottom was still good (which is was) I didn't see any reason to weight the tub while the mortar dried.. And there's tub (that's not damage on the right side, its where I tore back the protective coating to check a mark):

And if you're thinking I forgot the drain waste outlet on the tub, I didn't. I have space to attach it from below. See the height of the tub and the base prevented me from putting it on before the tub was installed. Also, while you can't see it there are support strips running on all the wall to catch the lip of the tub. However, because it's fiberglass, the underside is not uniform. There is full contact in some areas, and none in others. I'll remedy that by applying a low expansion hard setting insulating foam between the tub lip and the supports.

I've also completed my leak tests and it's all green lights - no issues with tub, drain plug or drain lines. Now I'm in for the fun stuff, final attachments to secure the tub, put on the drain waste outlet plumbing, do a leak check, finish the niches to hold shampoo and stuff, put up cement board and then Kerdi membrane. Oh the fun.

Kübler-Ross (stages of denial)...

Tuesday didn't happen. I don't mean I didn't do anything, I spent the entire day plumbing and moving studs. What I mean is that I spent the entire day fixing other people's mistakes so that I could actually move forward. Let me explain...

The day started well with sanding the floor. Got it all done in half and hour and I felt great. Then I started to look at the plumbing for the shower. It wasn't long before I noticed the existing plumbing was, shall we say, not the best job. Okay, let's be  honest. It must have been "Take your kid to work day" when they did the plumbing here and junior spent the morning sniffing propane fumes and then decided to try a little plumbing himself. In my version of these events junior either incinerates himself with the torch or drowns in the wash basin later that day. Either one makes me feel better.


I mean seriously, if you look at this full size, you can see they did a double "T" for no good reason and bent both pipes to fit rather than drill holes in the right place.

 So, I had to cut the strapping away from my basement to get to the pipes, change the lines (for the better), add new shutoff valves on both the hot and cold lines:

It doesn't look like much, but cutting away strapping, pulling unions off the main line, all this stuff takes time.

And then I had to move a stud in the wall because it was exactly where the new tub's valve control needed to be. To make sure I didn't damage the drywall on the other side, I had to run the reciprocating saw between the drywall on the other side and the stud to cut the nails. There's 16" between studs and the saw is nearly 2'. You do the math and figure out how much fun that can be. So it started like this:

And ended up like this (for those in the know, yes there needs to be bracing, it's already added but not in this picture):

Essentially, I spent 12 hours working on this and at then end of the day I was exactly where I started (ready to plumb the shower) except things were done correctly now.

Which lead me to the title of this post..dealing with grief.

Stage 1 Denial - This isn't going to set me back, I'll still get it all done in time. I'll just stop sleeping.

Stage 2 Anger - Who the hell let drunken monkeys plumb this place? Was the inspector on crack? Son of a bitch.

Stage 3 Bargaining - Okay, just let me get the tub in and the shower working. If it takes another week to finish the bathroom that will be fine. No one will mind the plywood floor.

Stage 4 Depression - Stupid Blog. No one would know about my stupid house with it's stupid plumbing if not for this stupid Blog. How do I delete this thing?

Stage 5 Acceptance - Oh look! There's coconut rum in the cupboard. This isn't so bad after all. Now where is the pineapple juice...

Glue and glue remover...

At the end of day 3 I didn't get quite as much done as I'd hoped but I had my adventures nonetheless. I started the day off by making the cut outs in the drywall for the fan and lights and putting the last of the screws in. That went fairly smoothly - except for the part where the pilot bit for my cut out tool broke off and I sliced through the drywall with the same gay abandon as John Belushi's samurai in a delicatessen. But with a new pilot bit all was well and the ceiling is up and cut out. And no, that charming light is not staying - just temporary lighting:

Next step was to get the glue residue off the subfloor. Glue residue you say? But didn't you have tile? Yes. And the morons that laid it put it down with carpet glue. Yeah I said carpet glue. 'Cause I guess soft carpet that comes in rolls and hard tile that comes in pieces are so similar they mixed it up. Could happen. If you're an idiot.

I did a lot of research and found a product called Super Stripper (insert your own dirty joke here) that was effective but didn't result in the lining of your lungs being liquefied either. And it worked great, lifted 90% of the glue up. So effective in fact it started to dissolve the glue that held the layers of the plywood subfloor together. Needless to say with the potential of having sections of my subfloor dissolve a panicked well thought out plan was needed. I have to say though, all I could think of was the scene in "Alien" when a drop of the acid blood starts eating it's way through the decks of the Nostromo. Surely it wasn't going to do that to the subfloor? Right?

Using at first drywall trowels, and then moving up to full scale war with a shovel, I started scrapping up the toxic goo and then frantically moping with water (water neutralizes it). The whole time I'm sliding around like I'm in a room full of banana skins or the snot from 173 six year olds, whichever visual is most least upsetting to you. Finally I got things under control only to suddenly wonder what a stripper of that power is doing to the soles of my shoes. Freaking out Calmly I got out the bathroom careful not to step on the hall floor, or the stairs or anything else. And I certainly didn't nearly melt part of the carpet. Certainly not. Nope. Not a bit.

Checking my shoes I discovered a mix of hardening carpet glue and enough hair from my Huskies so that it looked like I was wearing shoes by Hobbit. Being concerned that the Middle Earth look was on it's way out, I spent some time with a wire brush and slot screwdriver until my shoes are suitable for inside wear again. The floor has not dissolved, and most of the glue is gone. A little sanding tomorrow morning and the floor will be ready for tile. Which would be great if I was tiling tomorrow - but I'm not. No, tomorrow is plumbing. When I'll entertain all the little children with tales of the Great Soaker Tub and the Evil Corroded Pipes!! But have no fear!! "L" Grade Copper, Lead-less Solder and Flux will save the day!! You know I could be wrong, but I think there are still some fumes coming from that stripper (again, insert your own dirty joke here)...

In the beginning...

So what is this blog about? Am I desperately looking for friends or fame? Struggling to communicate with an ever distant world? No of course not. What are you, nuts?

This is plain and simple the easiest way that I can document my bathroom reno for friends and family to see without having to send a ridiculous amount of emails with pictures and descriptions only to have half of the emails bounce back because the files are too big. So Blog to the rescue.

Oh and for those who are wondering about the name, my boss calls me Squeaky because I'm careful with my money. Frugal. Okay, I'm cheap and can't stand parting with money. Well that, and I like my web anonymity.

With that out of the way, let's get to business. I've got a 9x5 bathroom (not including shower/tub alcove and linen closet) that desperately needed to be updated. How desperately? I can't actually show you the bathroom as a whole - you would go mad. Instead the best I can do is picture of the wallpaper lining the inside of the vanity (which by the way appears to have been made either in the 1700's by a blind leper, or in the 1970's by a drunken contractor with basic math issues)

Don't you just love that wall paper? Evey time my better half (known as the Task Mistress or just TM) open the doors she starts singing the them to "Three's Company"...Come and knock my door...

And if that didn't sell you on a reno, check out a section of the mosaic tile floor. Just look at the tile. What more can I say? Just wow. Like how much dope where they smoking when they did this place? Seriously.

It wasn't going to work to just do an update, nope. This was going to have to be a gut. So join me if you will (and go piss off if you won't) on my renovation adventure. I have two main goals - Get this done and make TM happy and please, don't let me end up on some HGTV show where I get rescued by Bryan Baulmer or Mike Holmes.

Oh, and as you may be able to tell, this blog is 50% DIY and 50% pure drivel comedy. If you just want to see my progress and laugh at my misery feel free to skip the DIY. Although I will think of you as less of a person for it.

If you plan to do your own bathroom reno, you may reach a point where you feel like you're over your head. That's okay. Not everyone is handy, and knowing when you're in too deep is not a bad thing. That being the case, you may ask yourself at what point have I gone too far? When is it too late to back out? When is it that a little plaster and paint and a new picture won't put this right? Well, it's about here:

And there used to be tub over here too:

Where is the tub? It's out on the deck. In two pieces. The process was oddly satisfying. Sort of like "Dexter" meets "Bathtastic" only with less blood and no annoying hosts:

So that's where I am today. Destruction and cleanup. Boring as all hell Totally exciting, yes? Next update will be pictures of the ceiling which has been drywalled (with some help - thank you Dean), then new plumbing and then the tub goes in. I'm so excited. Not really. Actually when the tiling starts, then it will be terrifying exciting.

Now, where are the band-aids and Advil? I've got more work to do...